You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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