You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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