There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize