would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
