gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
