Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize