He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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