She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
zippers are such a cool invention
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
