We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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