I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
