Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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