Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
