I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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