just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i want to swaddle you in tequila
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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