OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
