There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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