So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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