Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
