it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
