they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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