I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
