I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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