my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
