I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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