How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
