I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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