Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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