so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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