either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
