She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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