Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
