She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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