omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
