So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
