I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize