oh god the rape fog is back!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
