dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
