with your own penis?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
