thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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