What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
