Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
