we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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