Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
