She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
