They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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