yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
