he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
