Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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