I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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