Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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