Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
