So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
