you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
