what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i think i have two assholes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize