I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
