she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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