Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dear god my vagina.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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