two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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