Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
