i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
