Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
