thus making me awesome and them whores
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
