i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
