can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
