Sponge bath it is.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
