so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
