Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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