she looked like the before picture.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
